Tuesday, October 25, 2005

"I'd like people to say I'm a person who always wanted to be free and wanted it not only for myself; freedom is for all human beings." Rosa Parks

I feel saddened and inspired anew, thinking about the death of one of the world's most influential and dedicated activists, Rosa Parks. Her passing was particularly poignant, having recently been discussing the work of Parks and the other women who launched the Montgomery bus boycott with my Women's Studies class on African-American women in the civil rights movement. It weighed on the class Tuesday, along with the death of Vivian Jones last week. I am glad to see that the re-creation of Parks after her death seems to be at least slightly more accurrate than her usual representation in the last several decades, where she was frequently depicted as a tired woman who refused to give up her bus seat to a white man because her feet hurt. Some reporters seem to be finally acknowledging her for the true activist she was. From being one of the first people in her area to join the NAACP, to her time spent at the Highlander Folk School, to her leadership as secretary and youth leader of her local NAACP chapter, Parks was a dedicated leader and torch-bearer for the civil rights movement. Likewise, it is important to remember the contributions of other women who aren't acknowledged as leaders in the movement. Without the leadership, daring, and organization of Jo Ann Robinson and the Women's Political Council, it is likely that Parks' arrest would have gone by only noticed by her local African-American community, not the whole country. There were women who came before her, suffering for refusing to give up their seats, and women fighting other particular struggles elsewhere, like Vivian Jones and the desegregation of the University of Alabama. Like so many of the most important and effective moments and actions of the Civil Rights Movement, women were the leaders and creators who brought the boycott to life. Rosa Parks and Vivian Jones were two of the many remarkable, accomplished, and hugely important leaders in the Movement, and they'll be missed.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Photo problems

Trying my darndest to get this photo thing working, but it may take a little while. Sorry for the delay!

What I really need.

At the suggestion of the writer of Butch Baby Makin', I've looked up "Kate needs" on google. Things I never knew!
I need:
-a shave.
- to trust Angel.
- to be hooked up!
-soooo need to get burned.
- a new storyline and a life of my own.
- your help.
- to continue to develop my skills.
- to explore my innermost nature.
- to leave everyone alone and mind my own business!
Whoa. Sorry everybody, if I've been butting in! Just a fun exercise for the day. I guess I'd better go attend to that shave... ;)

Rules of marriage and physics

The degree to which one physics class can obliterate the rest of one's life is truly amazing. Blogging was just one of the casualties. Having memorized as many applications of the all-important equation F=ma and plunked them down on at least 80% of the questions on my exam (woo! so much better than I thought), I'm enjoying popping up to the surface.
A much belated Thank You!!! to the Massachusetts legislature, especially the 115 members who voted against the proposed anti-marriage amendment because they know that voting no was the right thing to do. To clarify the future for all those confused by this process:
Two of our legislators proposed the amendment that was just defeated, so it required more than half the legislature to vote for it, two sessions in a row, to send it to the ballot. The legislature narrowly passed it the first time, and just defeated it by a landslide the second time, so it's gone.
There is an initiative petition in progress, requiring 65,825 signatures to be sent to the legislature. This amendment is more extreme than the previous one, eliminating all legal rights for same-sex couples. Since it is on the initiative of citizens (not legislators), only 25% of the legislature (50 members) have to vote for it, two sessions in a row, to send it to the ballot. The earliest this could happen would be 2008.
If the (paid) petitioners get the required signatures (it is likely they will), we would need 150 legislators to vote against it. Right now, we know we have 115 allies. That means we would need 36 more legislators to confirm that they are on the side of equality and vote against it.
Our only other possibility it that the Senate President, Robert Travaglini, has the power to open and immediately close a constitutional convention so that an amendment will not be voted on and thus disappear. Tom Birmingham did just that in 2002 when he held the post. Travaglini was one of the original two co-sponsors of the no-marriage-but-civil-unions proposal that was just defeated. His other co-sponsor, Brian Lees, voted against it the second time around, but Travaglini voted for it both times. I don't know if we know whether he would rather support completely stripping thousands of married couples of their legal rights than support full equality for them. I guess we'll just have to see.
In the meantime, if you see any petition-gatherers outside your place of worship or a store you go to, please do approach the table and see if they are doing multiple petitions at once, and if you really want to get into it, feign interest and see if they try to confuse you. They get paid more for the anti-marriage petition signatures than for the other petitions they are doing, and may try to slip in the anti-marriage petition (labeled Petition K) for another one they've just told you about. If you notice multiple petitions going, and especially if you witness any shenanigans, please report it to http://www.massequality.org/.
Despite the pressures of legal hoopla and physics agony, I still find time to do the bride thing. Nothing could have stopped me from picking up my dress early last week (wayyyyy ahead of when they said it would be in. woohoo!) My beautiful dress and veil and my rediculous looking hoop-slip are now in my bedroom, shining away gloriously. Also, last Sunday, Josi and I officially joined the congregation of the Unitarian Universalist Society of Northampton and Florence, where we will be married next year. Unless, of course, I get my way and we have it outdoors. We shall see! We'll be getting up early to go to the UU in the morning and celebrate Yom Kippur. I've never done that before, so I'm looking forward to an interesting adventure!

Conducting our blooming...

Today is six days before the Massachusetts legislature will decide whether or not to put the marriages of 6500 couples, and my right to be married next year, on the November 2006 ballot for voters to decide to allow or to reduce to civil unions. Today is also one day after the Attorney General of Massachusetts, Tom Reilly, decided to accept an illegal initiative petition to put an even more extreme anti-family amendment on the 2008 ballot, to take all of these rights away- no marriages, no civil unions, just danger.
The most infuriating thing about these is the pompous arrogance of anyone who really thinks that my wedding should be anyone's decision but mine. How utterly disrespectful for my neighbor- my equal- to cast a vote on my right to marry. No matter what my neighbor's opinion, the act of voting on my personal life is an irrevocable act of disrespect. Not that I don't fully expect my fair-minded friends to go out there and vote against the damn thing, but I really hate being reduced to the level of a child whose decisions are usually made by others- adults who are deemed more capable than they. This is what makes me want to scream louder- I AM NOT A SECOND-CLASS CITIZEN!
Anxiety so easily takes over at times like these. What's my solution to right-wing aggression and hate-mongering? More wedding planning! Why not go where the endless streams of glitter and tulle fabric seem to flow? I've got some ideas for how to match Josi's dress to mine, but I think we're going to have to go custom for hers. I've added some new pictures to both albums, Wedding and My girl and I, so please feel free to see! We've got the church now, in addition to the reception, so once we've got the officiant set up we can dive into the wonderful world of making your own everything! (Save-the-dates, invitations, favors, centerpieces, jewelry, guestbook, photo album, thank you notes, accessories, etc, etc... we're gonna be busy;)
"The time cracks into furious flower. Lifts its face all unashamed. And sways in wicked grace. Whose half-black hands assemble oranges is tom-tom hearted (goes in bearing oranges and boom). And there are bells for orphans- and red and shriek and sheen. A garbage man is dignified as any diplomat. Big Bessie's feet hurt like nobody's business, but she stands- bigly- under the unruly scrutiny, stands in the wild seed. In the wild seed she is a citizen, and, in a moment of highest quality, admirable. It is lonesome, yes. For we are the last of the loud. Nevertheless, live. Conduct your blooming in the noise and whip of the whirlwind." Gwendolyn Brooks

Need

To help those in need due to Hurricane Katrina by making a donation, you can go to http://www.redcross.org/. We don't watch much tv, but tonight we got hooked on the hurricane coverage. I was struck by the last sentence of the reporter on the show. He said something about these images not being something we expect to see in America. Is it just him, or have we as a nation gotten so arrogant as to think that we are exempt from natural disasters, too? Fellow citizens are suffering and dying there in the south, and all one reporter can say is that he didn't expect to see it in America? The trouble is that so many of our people live in similarly dire conditions every day due to poverty and oppression and we don't pay attention to them- only to dramatic disasters that thrust the suffering among us into the spotlight. That said, if you want to support young people dealing with our nation's everyday tragedies, in addition to helping the hurricane victims, try http://www.thirdwavefoundation.org/.

Thanks, June.

The other day, while canvassing for MassEquality, I met a woman named June. I was asking people in her neighborhood to sign postcards to their Senator Brian Lees and Representative Gale Candaras, asking them to oppose the proposed constitutional amendment that would take away the right of marriage from same-sex couples at the upcoming constitutional convention. She reminded me a great deal of my mother's mother. Despite her small stature, she is a brash woman of opinion, with a somewhat gravelly voice, and brutal honesty. She interrupted my initial greeting and statement of why I was there, saying (I am paraphrasing) "Well, I think people should just be able to do what they want! It doesn't concern me." It was clear that she didn't know a great deal about my cause, nor did she care about it at all. She obviously thought it was ridiculous that I should be asking her to sign a postcard about somebody else's marriage. Fortunately, she didn't seem to think I was the one being ridiculous, but rather, the people who proposed this amendment who had pushed me to her door, asking a completely disinterested stranger to help me protect my family.
She took my clipboard in, where she and her husband and their two friends were waiting for the Red Sox game to come on the TV. She walked about to different points of the sunroom, debating aloud, not so much with her husband who doesn't support equal marriage, but really with herself. She seemed quite sure that she thought people should just be able to get married if they want to, but was trying to decide whether or not she should sign the postcards. She read the statement of support for equal marriage and wanted to know "why isn't there any place on here that says I think people should just be able to do what they want, and I don't care?" I explained that opposing the amendment is saying just that. She finally decided to sign it, much to the chagrin of her husband, and I'm sure toward a lengthy conversation after I left, saying "well, it's not for me `cause I'm, you know... but if some other people want to, who am I to say they shouldn't?"
I thanked her very much for her time and signatures, and wished everyone a good baseball game, and was on my way. She really made my night. Thinking about her later on, I concluded that she- a person for whom my wedding will not matter a whit- is the most valuable signature I got because she had no reason to spend her time on me and really thought my being at her door was preposterous, but she values the freedom that her country truly stands for and she made her small effort to defend it. So, in return for a really hilarious conversation and her signatures on my clipboard, I'd just like to say thanks to June.

To the happy couples!

Disclaimer: this post is full of sentimental and romantic gushing, so if you're a cynic, then read at your own risk of regaining faith in humanity and love. This evening, Josi and I are going to stay with a couple of dear friends in Boston in order to go to the bridal shower of another pair of friends tomorrow. They bring to mind yet two other couples for whom I care very much and who have recently gotten engaged. These last few months have brought a flurry of engagements and weddings into my life and I want to just offer a little tribute and thanks for their influence.
Lucinda and Clarisse are one of the most inspiring couples I will ever have the honor to meet. Individually, they are fascinating people, each with a wonderful sense of humor and a big heart. I am especially grateful to Lucinda for having been such a wonderful best friend to Josi. Together, Lucinda and Clarisse express such graceful confidence in each other, and their love is so evident and beautiful, that I feel sure that they inspire even strangers to be more loving and kind to their own families. What a wonderful impact they make on the lives of others just by loving each other so well. Their wedding will truly be a blessed day, not just for them and their guests, but for everyone.
Page is one of the people I most admire. Since meeting her, I have observed her devotion to making our world a better place in many ways- not just in protecting our environment or fundraising for great causes, but also in the wise perspective she has on the world and the artful way she imparts that advice to others, and how much she cares for her family and friends. I really can't describe her with justice, here. So, it would be hard to imagine a partner who could match this wonderful person. Jonathan is just so. He uses his great intelligence always in the service of others, his honesty and empathy make him a greatly respected and valued clinician and friend, and he's a fabulous feminist. It is heartening to know that there are not just one, but two such worthy people in the world, and that they share one of the world's great loves. Their wedding will be amazing, too, and a wonderful way to restore one's faith in the world.
My sister and Tim have one of those relationships that extend not just forward into their wedding and future together, but also into the past- not just back to their first meeting nearly ten years ago, but back seemingly lifetimes. They fit together so well that it is easy to understand their long wait to get engaged- their relationship is so natural and ongoing that a wedding seems like an afterthought. They have withstood great pressure to get married before they wanted to, and are planning to do so now, only as they feel that they've evolved together in that way- which is quite fitting for a love that seems to have been loving since the beginnings of our own evolution. She is a great sister and I'm sure she will continue to be a great partner to Tim and vice versa.
Likewise, I can't wait to congratulate Diana on her upcoming wedding to Chaban, at her shower tomorrow. On the few occasions I've had the honor of meeting them, they've shown such inspiring confidence and serenity, as well as humor, I'm sure their wedding will leave their guests with optimism and peace. I hope so much that I can offer these same gifts to Josi, though she is absolutely the most inspiring person I've ever known, and I don't think I'll ever be able to reflect all her wonderful gifts. So, I know this has been sentimental- half of you all are probably sniffling away and the other half I'm sure are gagging at me- and I'm NOT ignoring all my other amazing friends. The universe is just making big presents for all of us these days, not just to these lovely people in the progress of their loves, but to all of us for knowing them. So, I just want to say thanks, and cheers to all these happy couples!

Roses, a Romp, and a Ring

I find it helpful in the face of difficulties like unsupportive parents and an uncertain legal future, to remember exactly why and how I asked my girlfriend to marry me. In January this year, I began planning my proposal, knowing that we would be returning again to the lovely Highlands Inn in for Memorial Day weekend. It would be a beautiful place, set in the White Mountains in Bethlehem, New Hampshire. We would be among friendly people at this wonderful and inspiring inn for lesbians, all of whom would be delighted for us. Having made our reservations and found a beautiful ring in early April, I was all set to go, except for exactly what I would do and say. That proved to be daunting as I rehearsed a great many plans and proposals, coming down to just two weeks before without so much as a single good idea. Then, I remembered a walk we'd taken the year before on the trails behind the inn, eventually crossing a lovely bridge over water, and decided to leave her some kind of scavenger hunt to follow so that I could meet her there. Dwyer Florist agreed to make up the 20 individual bouquets that I planned to leave along the trail to lead her to me.
I dropped her off at the gym in the morning, and went to the florist, where they'd gotten the time wrong and hadn't started, yet. All four of the florists were in a beautiful flurry of flowers and tissue paper and ribbon and cellophane while I waited. Then, I put the flowers in the trunk, along with every last one of our freezer packs to keep them cold, and packed all of our stuff in the car so that she would have no reason to open the trunk, and went to pick her up. At the inn, I snuck the flowers into the fridge and waited until morning, when I left her a note to follow me in 10 minutes, and left her a trail of bouquets to follow, one at each fork in the path, each containing a note with a line of my proposal on it. BUT, the trail to the bridge was washed out! Instead, I made the trail loop around back to the room, where I waited with the last bouquet and my very important question.
It was wonderful and magical for me (for her, too, I hope). She deserves all the flowers in the world, though I hope 20 bouquets got the message across. Her delight in skipping and laughing along a surprise romp through the woods was beautiful. And though heartfelt words and a ring could never express how I love her, those cheesy jewelers' ads are true- diamonds are one of the most beautiful and enduring things in the world, and so they're a perfect symbol of the love we share. So, despite the difficulties that arise, now that we're ready to declare to the world that we are indeed a family, this wonderful memory brings me back to the simple joy and intent of our engagement- this is my joyful story and I'm sticking to it.

Once Upon a Time...

There was a woman trying to come up with a funny and clever intro to her new blog. This may not be it. The eight posts above this one are the ones that I created on my original blog where I was testing my dedication to posting before starting a "real" blog. If you'd like to know a little about me: I am a Democrat (of the democratic variety), a lesbian, a (perpetual) student, a bride-to-be, a Unitarian Universalist, and I live in Holyoke, Mass with my partner who has so graciously agreed to marry me next September. As proud citizens of the marriage equality state, we will do so legally, at least for the first couple of years (more on that in a post above). She's a new social worker, a sweatheart, and a country bumpkin from Minnesota. I'm a country bumpkin from Western Mass, and currently an unemployed student, having recently quit my work of the last three years with people with developmental disabilities to finally finish my undergraduate degree. This B.A. will be in Sociology, a concentration in Social Work, and a minor (so damn close to a second major) in Women's Studies. After graduating (in December), who knows?
My various aspirations include expanding my homemade herbal crafts to more than just one customer, professional activism for equal rights and environmental love, putting nose to the grindstone working for DSS (Department of Social Services for the non-locals), and divinity school toward becoming a UU minister. Most of all, more than anything in the world, more than I can stand it, I want to be a mama. We're not even close to taking foster care classes (another life's purpose), starting the adoption process, or trying to conceive. Getting back to work, regaining health insurance, and paying for a wedding all definitely need to happen first, but I think about it all the time and can't WAIT to get going. My love to all the wonderful mamas and to-be-mamas whose blogs I read as if they were food- not just any food, either, I mean fresh bread from the oven, salmon with creme fraiche, tiramisu... you get the idea.
There are so many courageous people out there tackling racism, sexism, classism, heterosexism, ableism, and all our oppressions, I couldn't possibly name all my inspirations here. I'll try to do them justice in posts, though. I'd like to write about what's going on in my life, but being political by nature, life usually gets tied back into politics and society here. Coming from one of those dinner=debate families, I love a rousing argument (no fights), so please feel free to disagree or play devil's advocate, but do be nice! Photos can be found in the sidebar (granted that I figure out how to use it), though they will probably be mostly wedding, wedding, wedding! Bridezilla hath no mercy... bwahahaha. No, really, I will try to include some variety (after all, what is a lesbian website without her best cat pictures), but I don't have any beautiful baby pictures like so many of my favorite blogs. Someday.
Bless you and all your families. See you around.

Test

Startup included some technical problems, so this is just a test.