A story about "Another Place at the Table"

Another Place at the Table

by Kathy Harrison

Last week, as my partner and I were leaving our second class of the series required for potential foster parents, we spoke with the foster parent who is co-leading our training. He mentioned that his wife had written a book (now two, actually) about their experience as foster parents, called “Another Place at the Table”. Voila! I pulled my copy of the book out of my bag, much to his surprise. I was already pretty excited that the author of this book was a foster parent for the same DSS office that we will be with, and now I was very happy to be looking prepared, though it was just sheer coincidence that had ordered the book a couple of weeks before.
This one hardly needs another spectacular review, I want to extoll its quality anyway. Having just finished one book on foster care, I picked this one up to start yesterday and couldn’t put it down. The stories of the children who grace these pages and the very real and unsentimental voice of the author had me riveted and tearful and joyful- I finished the whole thing in one sitting. The stories are frequently heartbreaking and the author’s experience clearly wrenching, but while it did much to scare me about becoming a foster parent, the underlying sense of hope and purpose came back to me every time, as it does for Kathy Harrison. I just hope that I can approach the task with similar good sense and resiliency, and am quite grateful to have Bruce Harrison at our classes to share his experience with us. So, of course, for me as a prospective foster parent, this book is amazing and I very much intend to read Kathy’s new book. This book is for everybody, though- it’s an amazing read. So read it- it’s worth consuming!

See more about Another Place at the Table

You know you are graduating from UMass Amherst when:

1) No preparation whatsoever is required- you may get your cap and gown on your way into graduation (in case you have been drunk for the last two weeks and forgot to get them.)

2) When the marshalls say "lines of three" you all walk into the processional in a giant mob.

3) The processional takes so long to get all 4,000 graduates into their seats that we all begin sitting down half-way through.

4) Graduates then proceed to stand on their chairs to look for people, talk to their relatives on their cell phones, take their gowns off because it is extremely hot, and leave their seats to go talk to people on the sidelines.

5) When the speaking finally commences, we then break out the beachballs that have been stashed under gowns, inflate them, and toss them around for fun- this continues throughout the entire two-hour ceremony- probably 2 or 3 dozen beachballs total.

6) Whenever a "marshall" manages to snatch one of the beachballs away (their primary job), the grads boo the marshall loud enough to drown out the speaker on stage.

7) Your particular section at one point sets off one beachball, then two (a typical number seen in all the sections), then three (at which point people begin to cheer), then four (and things start to get rowdy), and on until you've got 6 beachballs all going at once among the same small group, to the loud pleasure of the rest.

8) When the beachballs run out towards the end, the programs are sacrificed to mutitudes of paper airplanes.

9) The girl behind you continually screams like a rabid sports fan at inappropriate moments- for example, "Yeah- go trustees!" and "Sing it, UMass!"

10) When the Chancellor asks all alumni present to now stand, the graduates collectively fail to realize that they are now alumni for several seconds, then realize this collectively, and jump up screaming all at once. Don't ask how we got into college in the first place.

11) And last, but not least, the crowning moment that truly lets you know that you are graduating from the best university on the planet... somebody has snuck in, inflated, and begun to toss overhead- not just a beachball- but an inflatable naked lady.

I love UMass.

The Homosexual Agenda in action!

Last week we attended the first session of our 8-week foster parenting class that will, in conjunction with our (successful) homestudy, make us licensed foster parents in Massachusetts. We were bemused by the fact that we were two of only four potential foster parents in the class and especially by the fact that we were both same-sex couples. I was relieved at not having to deal with heterosexist weirdness, but also wary because the facilitators said there might be one more couple joining us at the next session. I kept remembering the "Boobie School Drop-out" post over at Name That Mama, and dreading some homophobic straight couple potentially ruining our experience. I hate conflict. So we went to the second session tonight, and there were not one, but two new couples joining the class. Lo and behold, we are becoming foster parents with yet another same-sex couple! That makes 3 out of 4 couples. I had to try really hard not to laugh when I walked in. Even our facilitator commented on us- apparently many foster parents are same-sex couples, but she'd never had a class with quite that ratio before. And the poor, lone straight couple- little did they know what they were getting themselves into. Not just any straight couple, either- the Dad is a high school sports coach, and the Mom has had three bio kids already and described herself as emotional. To top it off, we had a role play session and the poor woman wound up married to another woman- the lesbian recruitment plan is just top knotch these days, I tell you! I can only imagine what their conversation was like on the way home! I kinda feel sorry for them- I'm sure this was not what they were expecting. Still, this quells my fears and I'm really glad to start this process with some friendly faces. I think I'm going to like this class. And I hope we get to stay in touch with the families we are taking the class with- it would be great to go through this process together and commisserate as newbies. Yay for foster parents, and especially queer foster parents, everywhere!

Nobody puts Baby in a crappy dress!

We went to pick up J's dress from David's Bridal this evening- a "pickup style" bridesmaid's dress that we paid $220 for- what a big disappointment! Not only didn't it look even remotely like the picture in the catalogue (on the left), it was worse than the floor model that she tried on in the first place (which looked great on her despite the wear and tear of lots of trying-on). Flimsy material, haphazard work on the "pickups", saggy all over and especially in the front (not related to the size), a pull in the fabric right in the middle of the bodice- overall just a shoddy job. I was so mad! Still am. We had them re-order the dress and send this one back as a "failure" so that the new one will get here faster. And it had better look like riches when it gets here! Nobody puts my baby in a crappy wedding dress! Not a pleasant week in the land of tulle and glitter.

Runaway officiant

The brides are here and ready to go, but where is their officiant? Gone! The minister we had set up our wedding plans with has bailed on us because a couple in her own congregation asked her to officiate their wedding on the same day, and I guess the rules say she has to do theirs even though we asked her first. Thank goodness we still have 3 1/2 months until the wedding! Still, the choices are fairly limited. Our congregation doesn't have a minister right now because the last one resigned and he's not allowed to officiate ceremonies at our church anymore (more annoying church rules). J wanted the chaplain at her alma mater to officiate, but since she's so awesome she's very popular and had prior obligations already set up for that weekend when we asked. She made suggestions of who else might do it, and so we called this one and met with her and decided she would be a great officiant, and then she bailed. Now, while my oldest sister B was here visiting and graduating with her PhD a couple of weeks ago, I asked her to be the sole reader and co-officiant of the ceremony, but I don't think going it alone is what she had in mind when she accepted. Job for today: find a replacement officiant! Quick!