Saturday, January 14, 2006
Proof that she loves me
Most recent example of how much J loves me: today while she was at work, I cut up our bedroom curtains in order to cover up the atrocious wallpaper in our little foyer. I was afraid she was going to kill me when she got home, but she didn't- she did however agree that it's a really good thing I'm going to have a job starting Tuesday. I think so, too!
Let out your inner travel guide!
J and I are talking about where we'd like to go on vacation after getting hitched (that is if there's any money left over). We've talked about Canada, Europe, and a cruise we definitely can't afford. I'm thinking there must be other interesting places to see here in the Continental U.S., and other places we haven't thought of. I'm curious to know about the neat things to see and do in your neck of the woods and also places you'd like to travel to.
Anybody traveling this way should definitely explore some of the Pioneer Valley. Of course, Northampton is the great cultural center around here, with music and arts venues galore. The Iron Horse Music Hall is a great place to get a meal and watch the show- they have hosted some of my favorite musicians (like Melissa Ferrick, Kate Rusby, Kris Delmorst, etc.) and it's where J and I first met! Other great arts venues include the Calvin Theatre, Pearl Street Nightclub, Pleasant Street Theatre, and the Academy of Music, along with several free art galleries. The best cup of coffee in town (always organic and fair-trade) is the Haymarket, but keep your eyes peeled, because it may be one of the oldest stalwarts of Noho businesses, but the doorway is tiny and easy to miss! Noho is also home to Smith College and it's beautiful river and walking trails, and for a great day of family fun, go to Look Park- a beautiful public park complete with trails, picnic sites, a petting zoo, paddle boats, a choo-choo train, wading pool with giant flower-sprinkler, and outdoor concert half-shell known as the Pines Theatre. Of course, I'd reccommend our favorite restaurant and site of our wedding reception, the Northampton Brewery for good food and great beer brewed on site. Northampton is also home to the Valley's premier GLBT Nightclub, Diva's.
Closeby, Easthampton- Center of the Universe (as the townie bumper sticker declares) is home to the Pioneer Arts Center of Easthampton (PACE) for music and theatre, and the Brass Cat and Amy's Place have both served me good drinks in an enjoyable atmosphere. The Riverside building at 1 Cottage St. is also a neat place to visit because the upper floors are artists' studios filled with fascinating wares. For a nature day, Mount Tom is beautiful and has picnic sites, wonderful trails leading to amazing views, the Eerie House Ruins, and two climbing towers to look even farther.
The Northern Valley is full of highly recommended experiences- try our new hometown of Greenfield for the People's Pint (another great local brewery with some of the best food on the town), Poet's Seat Tower for a beautiful nature walk up to the tower that over looks the town, and the Green River Music Festival and hot air balloon launch every summer. Nearby is Shelburne Falls, famous for the glacial "Potholes" that are naturally formed craters from the last Ice Age that are now part of the Salmon Falls waterfall. Though swimming isn't allowed anymore, it's still a fantastic site for the geologists among you. Just down the street is the Bridge of Flowers- quite literally an expansive bridge that is covered in flowers from spring to fall- it draws thousands of visitors every year and it's absolutely beautiful. Other things to see in the Shelburne area include the Trolley Museum and Mass MoCA- a venue for some of the Valley's best arts and cultural entertainment. We're not far from Brattleboro, VT, either, but that's another state for another time!
The Valley in general is a very GLBT friendly place, especially Northampton, so it's definitely on my list of safe places to go. Also a very family-friendly place, with lots of entertainment that would be great for kids- even at pride. The Northampton Pride parade and festival continues to be the largest concentration of two-mom families I've ever seen, year after year. Of course, there's a lot more to the area, but there's my short review of our little part of the world! And yours?
Friday, January 13, 2006
Any ideas?
Any tips on what to blast toward the ceiling when our annoying new neighbors play obnoxiously loud, bad rap music? I've currently got the William Tell Overture going top volume.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Getting closer
This one is about my folks, and it's a little long, so I apologize- on both counts.
After a couple of terrible years, my parents (especially my Dad) and I are slowly getting closer again. They took the coming out thing pretty hard and there was a long time when every interaction with Mom was strained and painful, while there was no interaction with Dad- he and I barely spoke for a couple of years. That was four years ago. It was awful. Especially with Mom, because she and I were so close when I was a teenager. I know many teens are embarassed by their parents, but I never felt that way about her, and we had so much fun.
About a year and a half ago, something changed, and I don't know what it was- maybe it was just the realization of how much we were losing- missing out on our conversations, holidays, just being a cohesive family. Combined, I think, with Dad having what he thought was a near-death experience- it turned out to be nothing much, but he was upset by it (I think I would be, too). He was dehydrated from too high a dosage of diuretics, and felt like he quite literally couldn't move out of bed one morning. He thought he was dying, and according to my mother, said to her "Tell Kate I love her." My mother being a career nurse (thus, having no sympathy for anybody's whining) told him to get in the car so she could take him to the hospital, and when it was apparent that all he needed was some fluids, she replied "Tell her yourself."
Later on that summer, Mom must have had a conversation with him to the likes of "They're both being invited to dinner, and you're going to show up, or else." She invited J and I up to their house for dinner (the first time I was ever able to bring a girlfriend home) and we nervously went. Dad was mysteriously missing for a while (he is often mysteriously missing), presumably going for a drive and convincing himself to show up and be nice, and he came in about forty-five minutes late. We had dinner, where J was introduced to our family pastime of intellect-grueling political debate over meals, and we retired to the living room for tea afterwards. I was desperately and pointedly bringing up J's most Dad-baiting qualities and things they have in common- being Air Force vets, getting their Masters degrees, hobbies in photography, etc. Bing! The photography part struck the right cord (Dad has been really into photography since retiring a few years ago, including starting his own business), and he was off! Background info: My Dad loves to lecture on very specific, often inane, subjects to one or more sorry souls for hours on end, similar to his love for driving unsuspecting passengers on unbelievably long routes on what should be 5-minute trips in the car). He invited J to the computer room so that he could show her the online photo-finishing service he uses, and spent the next two and a half hours telling her all about non-digital photography. After snickering about it long enough, Mom and I decided to rescue J. As we left, there were hugs all around (I was practically crying on the way home because I could hardly believe my Dad just hugged my girlfriend) and things have gotten slowly better since then.
We've had our share of fights and difficult conversations since then (the most recent of which was about whether or not they would attend my wedding- see archives for that story), but I certainly never would have imagined four years ago, being in this good position with them now. When it was still really bad, my middle sister and I joked that I had really done her a favor (as she had had the most difficult relationship with the `rents of the three of us), by coming out to them- I was officially demoted to Least Favorite Daughter, and she actually got to enjoy the middle for a while. I'm fixing to regain my favored status! SO, a couple of new things have happened in this process since J and I have moved just 10 minutes away from my parents. The first couple of things were a little unnerving. I expected the unannounced visits and such, but really! First Dad walked into our apartment and scared the crap out of J- she hadn't heard him knock and the doorbell didn't work (we have since bought a wireless doorbell to avoid the potential catastrophies from that). Then, he showed up at the laundromat while I was folding. Because he saw my car. And then sat in a nearby chair in uncomfortable near-silence until he decided to leave. Hm. I'm not nearly as weirded out by these things as perhaps I should be, but they are in the category of things about living so close to the folks that aren't exactly fabulous. This however, is far outweighed by the things you learn when spending more time together- such as discovering that my Mom made a picture-frame-quilt-wall-hanging-thingy, above their bed with five pictures in it. Grammie and Grampa B, Mom and Dad, Barbara and Will (oldest sister and bro-in-law), Sarah and Tim (middle sister and partner), and me and J. In the middle are embroidered the words, "Families stiched together by love seldom unravel." So we're not there, yet, but we're getting closer.
After a couple of terrible years, my parents (especially my Dad) and I are slowly getting closer again. They took the coming out thing pretty hard and there was a long time when every interaction with Mom was strained and painful, while there was no interaction with Dad- he and I barely spoke for a couple of years. That was four years ago. It was awful. Especially with Mom, because she and I were so close when I was a teenager. I know many teens are embarassed by their parents, but I never felt that way about her, and we had so much fun.
About a year and a half ago, something changed, and I don't know what it was- maybe it was just the realization of how much we were losing- missing out on our conversations, holidays, just being a cohesive family. Combined, I think, with Dad having what he thought was a near-death experience- it turned out to be nothing much, but he was upset by it (I think I would be, too). He was dehydrated from too high a dosage of diuretics, and felt like he quite literally couldn't move out of bed one morning. He thought he was dying, and according to my mother, said to her "Tell Kate I love her." My mother being a career nurse (thus, having no sympathy for anybody's whining) told him to get in the car so she could take him to the hospital, and when it was apparent that all he needed was some fluids, she replied "Tell her yourself."
Later on that summer, Mom must have had a conversation with him to the likes of "They're both being invited to dinner, and you're going to show up, or else." She invited J and I up to their house for dinner (the first time I was ever able to bring a girlfriend home) and we nervously went. Dad was mysteriously missing for a while (he is often mysteriously missing), presumably going for a drive and convincing himself to show up and be nice, and he came in about forty-five minutes late. We had dinner, where J was introduced to our family pastime of intellect-grueling political debate over meals, and we retired to the living room for tea afterwards. I was desperately and pointedly bringing up J's most Dad-baiting qualities and things they have in common- being Air Force vets, getting their Masters degrees, hobbies in photography, etc. Bing! The photography part struck the right cord (Dad has been really into photography since retiring a few years ago, including starting his own business), and he was off! Background info: My Dad loves to lecture on very specific, often inane, subjects to one or more sorry souls for hours on end, similar to his love for driving unsuspecting passengers on unbelievably long routes on what should be 5-minute trips in the car). He invited J to the computer room so that he could show her the online photo-finishing service he uses, and spent the next two and a half hours telling her all about non-digital photography. After snickering about it long enough, Mom and I decided to rescue J. As we left, there were hugs all around (I was practically crying on the way home because I could hardly believe my Dad just hugged my girlfriend) and things have gotten slowly better since then.
We've had our share of fights and difficult conversations since then (the most recent of which was about whether or not they would attend my wedding- see archives for that story), but I certainly never would have imagined four years ago, being in this good position with them now. When it was still really bad, my middle sister and I joked that I had really done her a favor (as she had had the most difficult relationship with the `rents of the three of us), by coming out to them- I was officially demoted to Least Favorite Daughter, and she actually got to enjoy the middle for a while. I'm fixing to regain my favored status! SO, a couple of new things have happened in this process since J and I have moved just 10 minutes away from my parents. The first couple of things were a little unnerving. I expected the unannounced visits and such, but really! First Dad walked into our apartment and scared the crap out of J- she hadn't heard him knock and the doorbell didn't work (we have since bought a wireless doorbell to avoid the potential catastrophies from that). Then, he showed up at the laundromat while I was folding. Because he saw my car. And then sat in a nearby chair in uncomfortable near-silence until he decided to leave. Hm. I'm not nearly as weirded out by these things as perhaps I should be, but they are in the category of things about living so close to the folks that aren't exactly fabulous. This however, is far outweighed by the things you learn when spending more time together- such as discovering that my Mom made a picture-frame-quilt-wall-hanging-thingy, above their bed with five pictures in it. Grammie and Grampa B, Mom and Dad, Barbara and Will (oldest sister and bro-in-law), Sarah and Tim (middle sister and partner), and me and J. In the middle are embroidered the words, "Families stiched together by love seldom unravel." So we're not there, yet, but we're getting closer.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
A story about "Manifesta : Young Women, Feminism, and the Future"
by Jennifer Baumgardner
This is a great view into what 3rd wave feminists are doing these days, giving the younger generation the credit they usually don’t get for their activism, while also emphasizing a hefty responsibility to learn about and from the 2nd wavers. By the time you get to the suggested actions at the end of the book, it’s easy to understand the historical context and the possible ways of putting those lists into practice. One of my favorites.
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