A story about "The Creation of Patriarchy"

The Creation of Patriarchy

by Gerda Lerner

Wow. One of my favorite books. I think this is my favorite in non-fiction. Very well written with a multi-faceted feminist critique of sexism in historiography, as well as the best overview of the history of women and patriarchy that I’ve read, from pre-history on up.

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Feng Shui for better pay!

Little post-it notes are stuck all around the walls in every room in the new apartment as I am trying to figure out exactly where the Seven Portents and Eight Enrichments are located. I think I've got it all mapped out, although those Portents are mightily confusing! I really don't like the terms "Six Curses" or "Severed Fate". Fortunately, the Severed Fate location seems to be outside in the stairwell (not a part of our apartment), and the more favorable ones are in our office, bedroom, and most importantly the (very hopefully) kid room. The kid/baby room is also spanning the marriage and children corners of the Enrichments (I think). I'd rather have the marriage one in our bedroom, but there's just no way about it and we've got Fame & Rank in the bedroom instead- make of that what you will! ;)
We are currently way too disorganized to do anything with this information, but I'm fully planning on juicing up my career and wealth corners ASAP. Tomorrow, I'm accepting a job offer here in Greenfield and declining another in Brattleboro. I was laughing at this decision on the way home from the interview for the Brattleboro job today, because the interview was so pleasant and interviewing for the Greenfield position was so hard and sometimes frustrating. But, I'm really excited about the new job- social services outreach to people with severe mental illness- because it's very different from my previous work, so it will be interesting and challenging, calls for a lot of independence and a steep learning curve, will be a great help in getting into grad school and/or applying as a state social worker in the future, and means I'll get to work with a great co-worker and supervisor. The downside? Crap pay. It sucks going from one job that didn't pay all that much, back to school, earn a degree, and then go back to work and take a pay cut. I guess it just contributes to the growing evidence that these days, a bachelor's degree isn't worth two patooties. Regardless, the job sounds interesting, I could certianly do worse, and the union contract negotiations are up in the spring, so things might get even better. Because they already are great. New apartment in a great new town, my totally awesome lady love, school's done, job offer for something new and exciting, which all means we are so much closer to beginning the process to become foster parents, to getting married, and (hopefully) to buying unbelievably expensive, well-tested, frozen sperm. Hm, back to that Wealth & Money corner...

"Leave it to the lesbians to have the most romantic proposal ever."

Said J's little sister when she first heard the story. I'm not bragging... but it was a really good proposal. It's in the October archives if you're curious. I'm thinking about this now because it's January and it was just this time last year that I decided to ask J to marry me. I had known that I would for a long time but this was the big decision. That resulted in a few months of agonizing over where the money for a very expensive ring would come from and complete dissatisfaction with most of the rings I looked at in the stores. In April I saw the beautiful ring (the one in the box in the picture) at Ted's Creative Jewelers in Southampton and it only took one glance to know it was the right one. So I bought it and the story goes on at the Highlands Inn in the White Mountains of New Hampshire.
Such romantic thoughts, yeah, yeah, but I'm really thinking about it because at the beginning- last year, when I decided to ask her- I had no clue how complicated and expensive this wedding thing would be. And we're pretty simple, as far as weddings go, but I didn't quite realize all the components that go into it and it will be time-consuming and costly. Right now, I'm having a little freak-out session because we really haven't planned much for the last few months after settling the two biggies (ceremony and reception sites), and Bridezilla is falling behind! Eight months! Eight months left! To normal people this may sound like a long time, but to Bridezilla it is the essence of stress! So many things to do. And it really wouldn't be so much if we didn't have to book vendors 6-9 months in advance, but they fill up so quickly that we really have to get on the ball. And save that money!
Done:
Ceremony site (Our UU church)
Reception site (Our favorite restaurant and brewery)
Kate's dress, veil, and big frouffy hoop-slip thingy
To do:
A zillion things the most pressing of which are-
-Find and book charming officiant who won't offend my parents
-Book photographer (with a deposit that feels like passing a kidney stone)
-Find and buy J's dress
-Find two bridesmaid dresses and figure out how bridesmaid in California can try it on
-Make deposit to reception site and make appointment with chef
-Book hairdresser for four lovely ladies
-On guestlist- find out full addresses and last names of spouses/partners we don't know
-Send out save-the-date cards so people make this their Labor Day destination!
-Book ceremony musicians
-Find and book baker for cake
-Start seeding flower pots (growing our own favors sounded like a good idea last spring)
There's probably more. And way more in the coming months. Enough already!

Wishful bookworm

Well, I'm stealing yet another topic from Trista. I can't help it, she's just so darn full of good ideas! Just a list of 15 things about me and books.
1. The first book I read all by myself was Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss, and I was so excited when I realized I was reading the words for real that I ran into my parents' room and read the whole thing aloud to them.
2. Subsequently arose my inner bookworm and I was hooked on reading all the time. My mom hated to get mad at me about having my nose in a book when I was supposed to be doing chores, but she had to sometimes!
3. I was very proud of my bookcase that I painted purple myself, with almost the whole collection of the Babysitters Club, Anne of Green Gables, and a lot of Nancy Drew.
4. The Anne of Green Gables series are probably the most formative books of my life. I read them all as a little one. They gave me the confidence to be different and dreamy and still keep my self-esteem.
5. My oldest sister was the best gift-giver at the time because she was an English and Education major at college when I was little and she always gave me classic novels for presents- much more interesting than the kid books at the school library. She gave me one of my favorite books of all time, Jane Eyre, when I was 11. She also gave me one of my most formative books, Tess of the D'Urbervilles, when I was 12.
6. Another formative experience for me was reading A Wrinkle in Time and A Wind in the Door, although I was always miffed that the main female character didn't get to do the adventurous things that the male characters got to do. Many a moment since has been spent trying to explain what seeing is to a creature from another dimension who has never heard of the concept.
7. In the sixth grade, my teacher would let me out of class to go to the "reading closet" where they kept all the books they ever used for 6th grade English, and I could read whatever I wanted from there. So I read Animal Farm when I was 11, though I didn't understand what it was about.
8. Jr. High ruined my reading experience because suddenly there was so much homework and assigned reading to do that I didn't have time for pleasure reading anymore. I haven't read much for myself since. I resent this.
9. In the 9th grade, I was very proud for being one of the only students to answer our English teacher's question- about who affects us the most- by saying the characters in the books we read. Most people only said parents and friends. The teacher gave me a prize. Ms. Siegmann. She was cool.
10. Our high school started with 10th grade, and I was so excited that I was then allowed to choose what English courses I wanted to take, instead of the general classes we had to take before. I felt really lucky because the next year they instituted "10th grade English". How boring! I immediately took Shakespeare.
11. The next semester I went from our loosey-goosey Shakespeare teacher to Mr. Newton's (the man who does not give an A) AP Major Writers course that starts with Chaucer. His comments on my first paper- "Nice intro. Nice conclusion. No content." I worked my butt off for that guy and I credit him with teaching me how to write in one really hard semester. I continued to take his classes as much as possible after that.
12. Though its collection of GLBT related books consisted of one novel, my high school library probably saved my life with that one book. There was no information- nothing, nada, zip- on GLBT identity or issues in Health class or the textbook and I was desperate for information to show me I wasn't crazy. The library had Annie on my Mind, a novel about two high school girls around the 1950s who fall in love- they get found out and also accidentally out two of their teachers- it's not exactly a happy book, but it was a lifeline. I didn't want the librarian to see me check it out, though, and certainly didn't want my parents to see, so I read it in snippets in between class periods. I would sit on the floor in the back corner of the back row of stacks, read as quickly as possible, and put little pieces of paper in to mark my page before putting it back. I hope I wasn't the only queer student to ever discover it there.
13. The intro to Women's Studies at Sweet Briar College brought another of the best books for me- probably the best in non-fiction- The Creation of Patriarchy by Gerda Lerner. Thank you Professor Bart!
14. Other favorite books: Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman, The Awakening by Kate Chopin, The Red Tent by Anita Diamant, Pope Joan, First They Killed My Father by Loung Ung, Assata by Assata Shakur, A Severed Head by Iris Murdoch, Manifesta by Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards, Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg, My Dangerous Desires by Amber Hollibaugh, The Best Democracy Money Can Buy by Greg Palast, Book of Shadows by Phyllis Curott, Foxfire by Joyce Carol Oates. I'll think of more later, I'm sure.
15. Currently reading: A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn. Now that I've graduated, I am wishing to return to my bookwormy days of old.

Ooof

We did it! J and I have moved to Greenfield. Last week was all packing and moving and I had no idea we own so much stuff! Unpacking is moving along pretty well, but trying to install our new bathroom fixtures has been kicking my butt today. I love our new apartment, though, and Greenfield is a cool little town. It has the personality and artiness of Northampton without all the rich people. Which is good considering the ever-skyrocketing housing costs in Noho- I predict a major shift in the lesbian population of Western Massachusetts- Greenfield is it!