Mr. "ARRGH" will be our guest for a while...

We decided to suck it up and call the landlord and lady, tell them the latest proof that the upstairs people really need to be sent inpatient, and that we need a mediation. So mediation is tomorrow night with the landlady at a local restaurant- she wanted to do it at a park or something in case it got ugly, but it's going to rain so we're bringing popcorn and Reese's for the indoor scene that just might happen. Hopefully it won't happen that way, we will come to some sort of agreement about keeping the music and other noise down and not touching our property without permission and not smoking in the hall (too bad we can't stick in a clause about her taking her meds), and then everybody (meaning they) have to stick to it for 30 days. Then, if anyone can't stick to it, we have to try to decide who will move out. Then, if we can't decide, the landlords decide who moves. And they like us and we're good tenants and the upstairs folks paid the rent late last month (and I feel bad they're having a hard time with the rent, but still) so I think we'd get to stay. All of this will probably entail lots of loudness and annoyingness and psycho behaviors and maybe some threats spelled out in magazine clippings, but I really hope I'm wrong. Yay for wrong! And wish us luck at mediation.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGH!

I am so hopping mad! My effing neighbor is trying to play some stupid, passive-aggressive, junior-high-school game with us and I am pissed. After several months of listening to her weekly screaming fights with her husband, our neighbor hit an especially alarming note and ruined one too many of my nights, so we called the landlords and the cops. After ruining one too many of my days with her obscenely loud, booming music, I asked her to turn it down a couple of days ago. Since those two incidents she has:

1) Stuck a melodramatic note on our door "to the ## ___ St. residents" (as if she doesn't know our names), to not leave the front door open lest we break her daughter's heart by letting their cat out (well, they have an apartment door that should do the job just fine, and the door would be shut if she weren't stinking up the hallway with her cigarrettes, but fine- we leave it shut now- with a super-duper air freshener.)
2) Started playing the music extra loud
3) After I asked her to turn it down, went about her apartment and up&downstairs stomping as loudly as possible and singing at the top of her lungs (I suppose the reasoning was supposed to be, "if I can't play my music, I'll just have to sing my heart out, so I'll still be obnoxious but she can't exactly ask me to turn it down.")
4) Turned her car on and blared the music at top volume out of it (including subwoofer, parked in front of our door & windows), with her dog tied to the car and barking his head off (poor dog never barks, but the music was just that loud), and stood on her porch screaming at the dog to "shut the f**k up! I can't believe you're being so loud!." Love the pointed tone, don't you?
5) We just discovered she moved all of our stuff stored in the basement over to one side and smooshed her things up next to it, as if to draw a line down the middle (you know, like young children and junior high schoolers might do when they don't like sharing a bedroom). This last one has me so steamed! Big, bad boundary issue here- if you want me to move my stuff, then ask me to move my stuff- but do not touch my property without permission!

All done in such a way that calling up the landlords would make me feel like a child myself- it either can't be proven or seems like we ought to work it out amongst ourselves. But, I fear that if we continue to try to do that, we'll just incite more crap. I've already asked the landlords to fix a few things lately (light not working, broken windows, woodpecker nesting in house) and really don't want to make a nuisance of myself, especially in something that seems like running to mommy&daddy. I don't know what to do here. We have both tried to be as nice as possible and as reasonable as possible (we've both lived in several apartment buildings before this and never had to ask someone to turn music down or call the police about a fight- we both feel this particular neighbor is pretty extreme, and we know their previous neighbors also called the police about a fight). I guess I'm trying to say we've been really flexible about this, but I really feel attacked and there does not seem to be a way to reason with this woman. She's just nuts. Whatever it is, we need a solution now, because this has to stop. Any ideas?

Hey, Derangels!

Last night I dreamed that you were pregnant. We were having an argument because you didn't want me to tell Mom, but we were about to go out somewhere with her, and I was saying "S--, you're showing" (you were like 6 or 7 months along or smth) "you can't not tell her!" Is this not a perfect anecdote for our family relationships? Tee hee. Btw, is there something you're not telling me? Hmn? Love, your little sister

Flying colors

Good marks all around from the social worker who did our walk-through today- we have enough time, enough money, enough room, and our CORI checks confirm that we're not criminals. We are officially eligible! And now we have the crux of the homestudy coming up- three long visits from another social worker whose job it is to "get to know" us and write up a big report afterward. In the meantime, we take a three hour class once a week for eight weeks (not ten like I thought before) called the Massachusetts Alliance for Partnership in Parenting class. The first session is next week. It ends in July, we will probably have had our last visit from the social worker in charge of the homestudy by then, after which s/he will write it up, pass it by the manager we saw today, who will then pass it by the area director, and we're looking at getting licensed sometime in September. The one fly in my ointment is still our upstairs neighbors- actually really just one of them. The wife is crazy. She continues to have screaming fights with her husband on a regular basis- we had to call the police the last time because the screams were so unbelievably loud. She continues to play her music at top volume on a daily basis- completely unacceptable to me if I have a kid in the house- just a few minutes ago I asked her to turn it down, garnering a pissy response about how we've asked her to turn it down "like three different times" (actually only two, and maybe it's because you can't seem to understand that other people live in this house!), so the volume stayed down for about five minutes but she's apparently quite pissed at me now, because it's back up with it's booming bass already and she's stomping around like she has cinderblocks for shoes. Please, please God- move them somewhere else! She's really raining on my parade here, so I think I'm going to take off and go buy baby stuff or something. All the while maintaining my calm, cool, and collected state of being. Just call me wannabe-foster-mom-extraordinare! BTW, that's a picture of the very cute frog-prince toy we bought at Ikea a few weeks ago.

A little big thing

Those of you who saw this blog near its beginning might remember when the subtitle used to say "foster parenting" instead of just "parenting" on the horizon. That was because way back when, we called in our official interest in becoming foster parents to the Department of Social Services. So, a while went by, and we immersed ourselves in wedding plans, while also looking at options for possible pregnancy after the wedding, including meeting a PKD and poring over lists of ID-release donors from sperm banks- in short, life was just happening. And then, a few days ago we got a call from a DSS worker, asking to set up a visit to start our homestudy. So, we start on Monday afternoon. The worker will come back several times and continue compiling our homestudy, while we take classes for three hours every Thursday evening for 10 weeks, then the worker will write up her assessment and reccommendation for approval, the head of DSS will read it and sign it, and we'll get a license in the mail. If all goes well with our study. I've scrutinized the list of home requirements over and over and over, trying to reassure myself that our family and our home meet them, and so far we've got everything, so I reeeeally hope there's nothing missing. Actually, I know the one thing that is missing- we need to have a bed for the kid(s), and we've been trying to find an affordable crib that will convert to a toddler bed (to accomodate an age range of 0-3 years)- so far, no luck. It's ok for now, as we have several weeks after the home study begins to fix anything we're missing. But we need a convertible crib! And more curtains (currently only one room has them). And rugs (although we have a fabulously cute kid-rug from Ikea in the baby room- that's a picture of it up there- we're trying for a castles&dragons&princes&princesses&stars motif). Must sweep and mop and dust and vacuum and clean the bathroom and throw out all the junk mail on the dining table and brush the cats.